Bored Boozing

The following is a game I’m going to play with myself over the next few hours because I’m really bored. The rules are simple: I will continuously consume beer and/or wine throughout the night. Periodically I will take a shot of Jameson for that added kick. After a certain amount of shots of Jameson I will respond in one or two paragraphs to talking points I have outlined earlier.

The initial subjects will be very light and informal, and as the evening progresses they will get more serious, political, topical and nuanced. The reason for this is simple: the more in-depth and serious the questions, the drunker I should be when writing about them -- because it’s funnier that way.

All of the text will be unedited nor proof read in order to preserve the authenticity of the drunken ramblings. And tomorrow morning, at the moment I wake up, I will immediately write a short paragraph describing in detail exactly how I’m feeling at that particular moment.

So, I've been out already, imbibing a few beers and shots, therefore now is as good a time as any to commence with my first talking point (note: there is a new talking point for every shot of Jameson consumed. However, beer and wine will be consumed on top of the whiskey, I just won’t be keeping track of how much -- although I’m sure it will be plenty. )

(new note: I've already had quite a bit of booze tonight, so this should be fun.)

1) ONE SHOT -- Reflections on living in Buenos Aires:

Fuck, that was miserable. The Argentines aren't big shot takers so I'm a little out of practice. That sickly sweet burn was absolutely miserable. Im going to hate myself tomorrow. Anyway, thinking about the few months I've lived here I guess I've enjoyed it. No, I've really enjoyed it. I spent two and a half years trying to get the money to come back down here and, after I finally got it, I've had three of the most fulfilling months of my entire life. I've had a blast and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But, to be perfectly honest, I have bad dreams about the things I had to do to get here. That's the worst. I don't think it's necessary to get into the details, because it's no different than what hookers do on a day-to-day basis. 

And it feels just as bad.

2) TWO SHOTS -- Current North American movies:

My god, I didn't think the second shot could be worse than the first... but it was. It really was. Okay, back on topic, I guess I'm supposed to talk about movies or some bullshit like that. I actually like a lot of the movies out right now. The problem is that it takes so long for current new releases to get down to Argentina. But I go almost every weekend. I saw drag me to hell and I can't remember the last time I had such an awesome time at the movies. Then, the other weekend, I had a couple of cocktails and saw the hangover. I know I'm supposed to put titles in a quotes and capitalize letters and shit but I don't give a fuck. Anyway, I drank a bit then and went and saw the hangover. Argentine audiences are awesome. They really get into the movies. Whether it's comedy or horror or drama, they're just good audience members. And this time was no different. Unfortunately I was the one who ruined it for everyone by getting up to pee twice during the movie.

Sorry Portenos,

Chris

3) THREE SHOTS -- Healthcare reform in the United States:

This was the worst idea I've ever had in my entire life -- and to put it all in perspective, I've made an unnatural amount of bad decisions in my life. This is just stupid, though. I'm fucked up right now. really fucked up.

What's my topic now? Health care? Honestly, what the fuck? Anyway, I've been away for a while so all I get of the dialogue is the loonies on youtube and the daily show. I understand that it may seem presumptious of me to label every opponent of universal healthcare a loony, but, then again, all I have to go on is the internet. There are people with guns and signs comparing Obama to Nazis and at this point I don't understand it. Granted, I'm fucked up, but I can't even pretened to be a informed critic under these circumstances.

but really? Giving poor people access to healthcare means the US is  commie? I don't know, lesser countires than ours have given their people healthcare with zero problems. 

I just don't understand a lot.

ANd I'm fucked up.

4) FOUR SHOTS --  Ideas for the future:

I am not kidding, this was reaterded. I don't want to do this anymore.   i hate myself. I'm watching 2-year-old reruns of "To Catch a Predator" and am fucked up on Jameson. This is no way for a person to live a life. What are my ideas for the future? I don't know, to not become a fat, argentine pervert.

Fucker bitches

5) FIVE SHOTS -- A planet in crisis:

No one in the free world is stupid enough to do what I'm doing right now. I  will be epically hungover tomorrow and I'm still trying to push it.Okay, I['m done. Who gives a afuck? My only concern is that I  want to be with mu friends

6) SIX SHOTS -- Potpoirri:

faaaarrrrrrt

THE NEXT MORNING:  I am unwell.

 

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